english 101

I sent a text message with a picture of my new haircut to my mom. She sent a text back that read:

"Sooooo nice cut. i want to like u..."(such a nice cut. i want a haircut like yours)

lol

no such thing as a free lunch

I'm starting to see that for some Koreans, there is no such thing as a free lunch. If the Kim family invites the Mun family over for dinner, the mama mun plans a dinner for the Kim family. If James and I want to go over to his cousin's house, we're reminded that we (or mama & papa mun) have to reciprocate the hospitality. Now, if both parties are on the same page with this sort of culture then it's fine, albeit exhausting. However, it totally fails if one party operates on this principle while the other doesn't.

Enter: My family & the Mun family. Mama mun has invited my parents over often. But it's usually not reciprocated because my parents don't think that way. The result is disappointment on my in laws part and total oblivion on my parent's part.

I thought the cultural gap was only between our generation and the previous but I'm learning that is totally not the case.

raindrops and roses

Sister mun came from New York on Friday!

We picked her up from Long Beach and headed for James' uncle's place. On the way there, James ripped a really stinky one. Sister mun and I rolled down the windows and were gasping for air while mama mun joyfully exclaimed, "Son's gas is good!"

...

Anyway, I've been thankful for sister mun's presence because I feel like there's someone on my team. Hahaha. At dinner, sister mun and I were bugging James telling him that he needs to stop biting his nails and what not. But then mama mun yelled at us for it.

apple of my eye

After eating lunch, James asked, "Mom, dad - what are you guys going to do today?"

Mama mun "We're going to gaze at our son."

James "No really, what are you guys going to do today?"

Mama mun "I told you, gaze at our son."

Me "..." sigh. 

catch 22

Context: On Monday, we went on a mini trip to the Huntington Library with my mom and brother.

If we tell mama mun what we're going on a one day trip with my side, she'd be jealous/sad. We don't want her to think we neglect them, which we don't. We've asked them to do things, like go to Universal Studios, but they said no because it's not worth the money...

If we don't tell her what we're doing, we have to give her a vague explanation of what we're doing that day. So this round we told her, "Oh, my mom wants us to go to LA with her." But this route failed when we got back that night because James likes to tell details. 

Whatever. I got to hang out with my family so:

Yippee!

english as a second language

I hated having to take the annual language proficiency test throughout high school. The test would ask me to write an essay about what I do after school. -_- When I started teaching, I learned that if you indicate that a language other than English is spoken at home, the school automatically tests you. Er.

Anyway, more and more people have been asking us when we're going to have a baby. Even our parents. My in laws on repeated occasions have insisted that once a baby is born, we must speak only Korean...you know, so the baby will learn to speak it. I'm all for having my kids speak Korean especially since they'll need it to communicate with James parents. But I don't think it requires a switch in the language spoken at home. Moreover, I don't want my kids sounding out words with a ridiculous amount of syllables or getting letters like v, r, p, and f mixed up.

For example:
golf - goal/poo
tv - tee bwee
Disneyland - dee zee nee len dou

shopping

While James was at his acupressure treatment, mama and papa mun and I went to Nordstrom Rack. We went out separate ways for a little bit. But after an unsuccessful hunt on my end, I joined mama mun and was a good daughter in law: holding the clothes she picked, taking it off the hanger for her to try, saying it looks nice, and what not. 

Here and there she'd pull something out and say, "Isn't this cute?" or "You should try this." Usually it's fine. But today she pulled out a neon (I mean, NEON) yellow wind breaker and a colorful shirt with a pattern that resembles that of a Navajo quilt. -_- I just gave a polite smile and said, "Oh, yeah..." gave it a touch and put it back.

I'd rather wear:

M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E

 

honesty is NOT the best policy

I think Korean parents, especially those steeped in the Korean culture should really take the advice "honesty is the best policy" with a grain of salt. I remember in high school when I was going through my acne stage, Korean adults would ask, "Why do you have so many pimples?" or when I gained my freshmen 20 they'd comment, "Oh, you gained a lot of weight!"

During breakfast I asked mama mun how her nails were holding up since she got a gel coat. She said that it already chipped. She said she showed her friends and they said, "It's ugly." And when she told them, "My daughter in law treated me out because I've been working so hard," her friends said, "She must have taken you to a bad place."

Aish.

it's a race!

Koreans are known for being late. Probably 30 minutes on average. Yet, they are also known for being hasty. James and I were to meet papa mun for lunch at 11:40 after tutoring. I tried to drive fast because I looked at the clock which read 11:38 and thought, "If we're not there by 11:40, papa mun's going to call." That moment, James's phone rang. It was papa mun asking where we were. Haha

Papa mun and James got a head start on lunch because mine came out about 5 minutes after their lunch did. But seriously, I felt like it was an eating race between the two men so when my lunch came out I started stuffing my mouth. All the while thinking I may get indigestion for eating so quickly.

We got to the restaurant at about 11:47 right? We got home at 12:17.

a childhood wish

When James was in elementary school, he never got a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. He was living with his aunt at the time because his parents were still in Korea. His cousin had his birthday party at Chuck E Cheese but poor James wasn't given a party there. This past week, we took a family friend's girl to Chuck E Cheese. James had a lot of fun and fulfilled a small void.

Doesn't he look so happy? Only 1 token! :D

Today after tutoring, James and I chilled with my mom for a little bit while mama and papa mun were golfing. We made sure to come home right before they did so it wouldn't seem like we were out. Haha. Not that it would have mattered, but even my mom said to go in before they got home. After the in-laws got home, I took mama mun to get a pedicure! Hope it added some points to my record.

invisibility

I discovered I have the same powers as:

Violet from the Incredibles 

except for her force field capability...have to work on that one. My guess is that most Korean daughter in laws who are married to precious Korean sons have this power. Too bad we have no clue when it turns on or off.  

My first clue: Eating dinner with James at the Mun house. Papa mun was out and mama mun was watching us eat and she kept calling James by his name and telling him to eat this and that. That was the first hint because surely, I was eating too! 

My second clue: Through a phone conversation between mama mun and papa mun. Mama mun had asked us if we wanted to go eat shaved ice after dinner. As we were about to go, she called papa mun and said, "I'm going to eat shaved ice with James. Do you want to meet us there?" Hahaha :D

I'll let you know when I sense people bumping into my force field. 

blast to the past

While drying my hair tonight, I remembered why I shower at night. I used to love showering in the morning because it wakes you up. During our first year of marriage, James would try and convince me to shower at night because it's better - the dirt and what not from the day stays in your hair so you should shower at night. We agreed to disagree for the most part. Then, mama and papa mun visited from Korea (they were living there at that time) and long story short, mama mun told me to shower at night (to James' delight) and I've been doing so ever since! It has been totally fine except that I can never get my hair to do the right thing in the morning. Hahaha.

I don't know why I thought of tonight. But man, I remember being so upset! :)

Well! Today was papa mun's bday and mama mun told me not to worry about it because of my finger. But I insisted on making dessert so I made:

Puff pastry w/ nutella, strawberry & lemon puree, and chopped pistachio!

It was great! Shout out to Debbie for the recipe (original requires raspberry & lemon puree)! Mama mun really liked it. :) I think papa mun liked it...but he ate it with a fork and so it got destroyed...

heart to heart #2

So what do James and mama mun talk about during their heart to hearts?
1. You need to exercise.
2. Don't worry about your future.
3. Where are you hurting? Your neck?
4. Detailed description of today's events including how much my dad spent on buying my mom and me a purse.
5. Health is all you have. Stop eating fruit at night.

lame

I jammed my finger on Monday playing bball w/ James. It bruised up and wasn't hurting too much until yesterday. We were suppose to go rock climbing but had to cancel and now I have my finger in a splint...which would be fine but I sort of felt like a chump today.

I woke up at 9 today (thought it had to be at least 11 or so - maybe it's a sub-conscience thing, haha). We go down to breakfast and James announces I can no longer do the dishes and what not because I need to rest my hand. It's one thing if MIL says to chill and not worry about things but it's totally another thing if husband announces it, you know? -_-

After breakfast papa mun vacuumed the 1st floor, James vacuumed the 2nd floor, mama mun sewed the duvet cover to the duvet, and I just sat watching Food Network. OH MAN I felt so antsy! Then Mama mun gets a phone call from her cousin and tells her she's sewing. Cousin says, "Why don't you have your daughter in law do those things? We did all that stuff." Mama mun answers, "Do you think this is the 19th century?" Do I sense Americanization?

(James and mama mun are currently having another heart to heart in Esther's room. Drawing tomorrow FO SHO)

gallery

I took pictures of the pj's that have been appearing in our room. Here are the pj's:

what is it with Koreans and Mickey Mouse? 

 

 

 

"Good luck with you!" (Baby Goofy)

I got back early today after sleeping at my parent's place and I made lunch! Papa mun went golfing so I made him a sandwich and left him a note that said, "Remove toothpick before eating" (although spelled totally incorrectly in Korean - but hey, it's the effort that counts, right? haha)

Turkey+avocado+tomato+bacon+cheese+lettuce+Grey Poupon+Miracle whip on wheat!

papa mun's sandwich - didn't want him to miss the toothpicks!

Next daughter in law project is papa mun's bday dinner! Oh boy~

home free

I'm spending the night at home today! Yippee~
Tutored, had lunch with mom & James, walked around the Brea Mall, took a nap on the couch, went to Corner Bakery and read a magazine while mom wrote a letter to a friend, and soon I'll be heading out for a yoga class. :)

Milking it tonight!

success?

Mama & papa mun go golfing with James' aunts and uncles weekly. Usually they go out and eat but this week mama mun suggested eating at home. She made yook geh jang (spicy beef soup) and I told her I'd make spring rolls. It turned out great! I should add a shout out to hubby who helped julienne the veggies and take the ends off the sprouts. Everyone loved it. But it out-shined her soup so I felt bad. So I ate the soup which was good and I really like anyway. :D

On a side note...every couple of days, a new set of pajamas appears on our bed for James. He has been wearing a white shirt with Mickey Mouse shorts the past couple of days. Today there was a white tank top with plaid shorts, which he is now wearing.

aigoo

Mama mun cleans every day. Dusting, sweeping, wiping the floor, cleaning the bathroom...it's pretty crazy. The place of course is beautiful and always clean but I feel hecka pressure to maintain it. Even more pressure because she cleans our bathroom daily! So I'm always wiping down the sink counter and picking up my hair but there's always something that has been cleaned when we get back from being out. -_-

Before heading out today, I thought I'd be responsible and run a load of our laundry. You know, daughter in law doesn't do much around the house so I can at least do my own laundry. Well...I didn't have time to fold it before we left so I put it on our bed to fold later. When we got back, our laundry was folded, blankets changed, and trash taken out.

James thinks it's fine and I should just let it happen. I think I have to step it up a notch...or two...or three?

really?

Waking up late = bad daughter in law. Let me provide some context.

When my family used to go to Korea, my mom was WORKED when we were with my dad's family. It's not like my grandma is mean - she's a very sweet lady. But because of the culture, my mom would wake up really early with my grandma, make a feast for breakfast, then clean up, then help clean the house, then prepare for the next meal.

Sure, I'm Americanized so that's not expected of me...but I still feel the pressure because I know what it "should" be like.

I woke up with a start today to find that James was not next to me. My first thought, "Shoot, he went down to breakfast before me!" I jumped out of bed to check if he was downstairs but before I got there, I saw this through mama mun's bedroom door:

mother & son heart to heart.
boy at age 2-10ish : heartwarming, sweet
boy at age 30 : let's just forget ground rule #2

papa mun gets to live a little

We had the expensive rib soup Thursday night. While mama mun was putting the soup in bowls for us, papa mun asked to eat too (even though he already ate dinner) because he didn't get to eat the meat prior to James' homecoming! The soup was yummy but I think papa mun enjoyed it the most. 

After a late dinner, mama mun gave us fruit but told us this is the only night she's giving us fruit. She said, "You need to eat fruit in the morning - it's the best for you at that time. Fruit has a lot of sugar so it's not good for you in the evening. We don't eat fruit at night."

Last night she asked if we wanted fruit. Papa mun jumped at the opportunity and ecstatically said, "Yes! Let's eat some fruit!" So then mama mun brought out a huge platter of assorted fruit which we all enjoyed, but in particular, papa mun.

:D

are you listening?

Just got back from our first full day here.

Set my alarm clock for 8:30 this morning thinking I'd try and get up and do the Korean daughter in law thang~...ideally setting up breakfast before the rest of the family is up but realistically for me, just helping mama mun out...but that plan failed. James got up before me and I wasn't sure where he went but I kept hoping he wasn't downstairs because then I'd look really bad. Haha.

After breakfast mama mun, James, and I went to South Coast Plaza to look for his suit and a purse for me (MIL said I could buy whatever I wanted!). Seriously, that mall is out of our league. We went into a store to look at a watch and it was $5000. What the heck. Anyway, left the mall without any purchases. We'll have to try again later. =/

I think ground rule: "don't be a mama's boy" is already broken.
J: We saw a motorcycle accident on the 5. It was so bad I think the driver died.
MIL: What is with your haircut? The lady messed up your good looks.
(conversation moves on without any acknowledgement about James' comment)
J: mom, We saw a motorcycle accident on the 5. It was so bad I think the driver died.
MIL: Oh. You have to be careful.
(James, satisfied, continues eating)